WIP: A Cast of Quite a Few!

Not quite a cast of thousands, but plenty of characters. The main character's names are bolded.

People of the Towers
Lembek: Protagonist – Young, naïve, soft, fastidious about his clothes and appearance, something of a Dandy. Desperate to be part of Tower society and please his father. Everyone thinks he has no talent for sorcery, and he is as suprised as the rest of his family when he finds out he has the gift. Not that it helps him, in fact it's the reason he ends up in trouble in the first place.

Drago Effingdon the Fifth Earl of Elmstower: Lembek's Father, lord of Elmstower (aka the great tower). The most powerful sorcerer in the City of Towers. Stiff, unforgiving, formal, fierce. Traditionalist. Cold.

Cal-Drago: Lembek's oldest brother, and heir to the great tower - almost as powerful a sorcerer as his father. Brash, confident, mocking, feigns indifference but is extremely ambitious.

Neve: Cal-Drago's wife – A dark beauty, deadly and even more ambitious than her husband.

Talen: The villian - Drago's second son and Lembek's favourite brother - He has no talent for sorcery and very little ambition beyond that which duty demands. Friendly, relaxed, slightly overweight, arch sense of humour, but driven by jeolousy and bitterness. He had just about come to terms with being second fiddle to Cal-Drago his older brother, but when he finds out Lembek has the gift of sorcery and that now he is also behind his younger brother in the pecking order he breaks.

Elise: Talen's wife – Young, shy, mouse like in appearance, but vicious.

Archivist Senca: The Finder Fixer of the great tower.

Jaglert: Former servant of Earl Drago, but newly assigned to Lembek and unhappy about it. Sly, bitter, untrustworthy, lazy.

Fegg the Dead: Earl Drago's fearsome sorcerous bodyguard.

Sergeant Cooper Henshaw: Lembek's master or arms.

Stint Henshaw: Drago's new servant, previously Lembek's servant and boyhood friend, son of Lembek's master of arms.

Sword Servants: Drago's hand picked warriors.

Della: A young maid, in love with Lembek, a beauty from the Lows.

Bethnay: Lembek's wife to be – grasping, ambitious, sociopathic.

Count Effingdon of the Green Tower: Bethnay's father desperate to form an alliance with the great tower. Obsequious toady.

Artgwyer: Bethnay's younger brother, fey, shy, weak-willed, enamoured of Lembek and his fashionable taste.

People of the Mids
Captain Tal-Ben Radjapur of the True Blades: Dashing Mercenary Captain.

The True Blades: The City's most famous and flamboyant mercenary company.

Lakshmi Radjapur: The Captain's wife, famed as the most beautiful woman in the city of Towers.

Salgado: A spy – drab, ordinary looking, forgettable, no one can remember what he looks like or his name . . . unless he wants them to.

Master Hamscore Sanderson: Head of the Traders and Crafters.

The Traders and Crafters: The people who use the recycled refuse of the Lows and the old world to make new items saleable to the Mids and the Towers.

People of the Lows
Skulk: Antagonist – Young, jaded, lonely, deformed. Had a harsh childhood as a lone orphan scavenger in the Lows. Refused to beg and is hated by the beggar king, constantly pursued and harried by him and his beggars. Desperate to join the Croakers and please Old MacKay the King of the Croakers.

Gort: Champion prize fighter of the Lows, huge brute of a man with a face that looks like it has been used to smash down brick walls then whipped with razors, then set on fire. Della's brother.

Venk: Gort's 'molly-boy' - outrageous and camp, but as ruthless and dangerous as any Croaker.

Old MacKay: The king of the Croakers a raucous old dog of a man, when he's not taking care of Croaker business he's wallowing in gin and whores and laughing at his own jests (none of which are funny).

Letch & Farnsworth: Old MacKay's best Croakers, they always work together.

Letch: A rancid little weasel of a man.

Farnsworth: Prim & proper.

The Croakers: The city's assassins they'll croak anyone for a purse of clink.

Malduj: The Beggar King - a very powerful man in the Lows. Obsessed with making Skulk a beggar believes her deformity is so hideous she would be his best earner.

The Beggars: Deformed and disabled children and youths, who beg (and steal)in the Mids.

Bharat: The Finder King – another powerful figure of the Lows he controls the rubbish tips. Very much a man of the people loved and respected by his Finders as he does the best he can for them.

The Finders: The poor and unwashed who live and work amongst the mountainous piles of refuse discarded by the people of the Mids and the Towers. They sort it and prepare it for recycling by the traders and crafters. There are also bands of brave finders who explore the dangerous ruins of the old world looking for 'treasures' that are highly sought after by the people of the Towers. Their existence is one of poverty and day by day survival, dreaming of finding that one treasure that will allow them to buy a life in the Mids.

Gaverly: Huge breasted and foul mouthed madam of the 'Low Spirits' the most famous brothel, and drinking den in the Lows.

Gaverly's Girls: Assorted pox-ridden whores.

Bowley the Breaker: The Low Spirits' bouncer and a friend of Gort. Small but a skilled breaker of arms.

Dead Danner: Cantankerous old drunkard who lives in the 'Low Spirits' and is famed for his sharp tongue. It's rumoured he once lived in the Towers and should have died of old age two centuries ago, but is so stubborn he just refuses to die.

Stubfoot & Gubbit Independent Traders: Two eccentric traders who prefer to go it alone in the Lows, rather than as part of the Traders & Crafters in the Mids market. Much to the chagrin of the Traders & Crafters they seem to have a knack for finding, crafting and selling unique items and treasures that intrigue the rich and powerful folk of the towers.

Mr Stubfoot: A grubby little man, who always seems to have a pie in hand and grease running down his grey whiskered chin, doesn't say much, usually just nods and grunts.

Mr Gubbit: Tall lanky man, cheerful and garrulous to the point of distraction.

WIP: Story in One Paragraph

I've never  attempted this sort of thing before,  I prefer to just write, but you have to keep trying new stuff, keep learning so here goes . . .


Story in One Paragraph


1 paragraph, 5 sentences, 3 disasters and an ending . . .

First Version . . .

In the magical city of a thousand towers, the son of its greatest lord is about to be wed. But when he is framed for the murder of a maid and the mutilation of his brother-in-law to be he must flee for his life. In desperation he seeks refuge in the lows, the city's dangerous slums. Even as he struggles to come to terms with his new surroundings, he knows he must find out who framed him, but when the city's assassins are unleashed the only way to stop them is to become one himself and eliminate whoever is responsible for his troubles. So he goes on the offensive only to find out it is his own brother behind the plot to destroy him.

Second Version . . .

Lembek, the youngest son of the City's greatest Sorcerer, is on the cusp of adulthood but before he joins 'society' he must face the death-test and, perhaps even more worrying, marriage. On the eve of his wedding party he is framed for the murder of a beautiful young maid, and must escape. He escapes to the lows, the city's deadly slums, but soon finds himself hunted by the fearsome Gort, brother of the murdered maid. He only just convinces Gort of his innocence, and makes an ally of him, when Croakers, the infamous assassins of the lows, start to hunt him through the slums. Lembek and Gort turn the tables on the Croakers and start hunting them, determined to find out who is behind their attacks. When he finally tracks down the King of the Croakers Lembek is devastated to learn that it is his own family that wants him dead. He and Gort set out to do what no one has ever done before: fight their way from the lows and up into the Great Tower, where Lembek will confront his family and prove his innocence or die trying.

Third Version . . .

When the novel's finished I think.

TrollsZine! Issue 2

I should have posted this last week when issue 2 First went live. Anyway, better late and all that. Here's TrollsZine! Issue 2. Like issue 1 it's packed full of Tunnels & Trolls goodness including another article by yours truly.

EDIT: Helps if I link! You can get TrollsZine! 2 from Lulu Trollsbridge Store or RPGnow and Drive ThruRPG best of all it's free!

I Keep Hitting it with My Axe

Another webisode of I Hit it with My Axe (a phrase that gets used quite a lot with this bloodthirsty group) . . .



This is getting better each episode, I particularly like the 'post match' interviews, breaking down what happened and to who. I also like the upside down, back to front goblin kingdom. On paper it's a simple enough idea, but it adds a ton of fun in play.

FRPG FRIDAY: I hit it with my axe until Kimberly Kane's Elf turns blue!

As mentioned previously  I wrote the Mad Mushrooms for The Fungus Forest and they ended up being featured in I hit it With My Axe, the web tv series based on Zak's excellent Playing D&D with Pornstars blog. Which to me is kinda surreal, I mean I'm noodling around writing nerdy RPG stuff for fun, in unglamorous Leicestershire not for one minute thinking an internationally renowned LA artist and alt-pornstar would pay me to use them in a web show! Which is neat, cos I like a big portion of surreal in my D&D that's what the Mad Mushrooms were for in the first place.

Here's the episode where they feature . . .



Gotta love: 'I hack off his foot!' That's just total D&D.